Lessons From A 7-Year Old
I spend my days utterly exhausted. It's true. I don't know how to sugar-coat it or make it sound any more glamorous than that! I actually think I have gotten used to it because I have been so tired for so long. The thing is that everyone that has been in this very place before me tells me that I should cherish every moment because it won't last long. I believe it. I do. The older I get, the faster it goes!! My baby is FOUR!!!!! I have no idea when that happened!!!!! Some days I miss the baby days and other days I love the fact that all of my kids can do certain things by themselves!
Last night, I started a new medication for my migraines. I took it at about 10:00 and around 10:30, I was seriously unable to function. I was DONE. At about 2:30 am, my sweet middle child woke me up and was in tears standing by my bedside. I am still not completely sure what the problem was but she does have nightmares occasionally and knows to bring her pillow and blanket to my floor by my bed. We have a queen bed and the two of us, Libby, and another human just doesn't work! (Especially because I cannot stand to be touched while I'm sleeping-that was free info- you're welcome ;) ANYWAY, she woke me up again about an hour later hysterical and said, "Mommy, if we do one flip, we can't do another one, right?" I instructed her to go back to sleep.
This morning she got up and got dressed without any protest which isn't completely abnormal, as she is generally my most cooperative child in the morning but she was very quiet. Right before she went to school, she came upstairs where I was getting ready and was in tears. What I got out of the situation was something about her friend and how she told her teacher that she was going to do something. She didn't do it and she was afraid that her teacher was going to be mad at her; she was going to sign her folder. The bottom line, she had lied to her teacher and she felt bad about it. It was killing her!!! That was what she was so upset about in the middle of the night last night!
What if I was that convicted each time I sinned against the Father? What if each time I did something wrong, I was so grieved that I could not sleep? What if something as simple as a lie caused me to weep? I am not so naive to think that my child was not simply afraid of getting in trouble instead of grieving her sinful ways; nevertheless, it reminded me of my relationship with my Father.
God wants me to be so broken over my sin that I fall on my knees and ask for forgiveness. I need to repent and turn from those ways. And I need to be serious about walking so closely with Christ that it grieves me as much as it does Him when I sin.
Lord, help me walk with You so closely that it breaks my heart when I sin. Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
“Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.”
James 4:8 NLT