Friday, September 24, 2010


I have been thinking a lot about choices. We all makes choices. Sometimes the choices we make affect who we are, sometimes they affect just us, sometimes they affect others and sometimes we may not know until it's too late the consequences of our choices. Then again, sometimes we make choices KNOWING the consequences BEFORE we make them yet make them anyway. Why do we do that?

Paul says in Romans 7:17 as he struggled with sin: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." He talks about evil desires and our sin nature taking over but we have a make a decision to overcome those desires. Sometimes, we fail. Often, we fail. What happens? Consequences and pain associated with those consequences.

As parents, Brice and I are careful to teach our girls that they are not bad, but sometimes the choices they make are bad.  We teach them about making wise choices and help them to understand that there are consequences for their unwise choices and often times, especially to a four year old, that is pretty painful.

There is good news! When we choose to sin and we mess up, PRAISE GOD that there is a Redeemer there to pick us up and restore us! Whatever that sin, God forgives! "ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23. God does not rate sin. Sometimes we get into the "sin-rating" game where we get a little self-righteous thinking that if we didn't do "THAT" that we are "okay" in the sight of God and man. The fact is, that sin is sin is sin!!! People are dealing with the pain of their choices everyday and God does not rate sin and we shouldn't either.

The choice to heal. This choice is hard. Which is easier - to put a bandaid on a wound or to debride it? Here are the definitions:

bandaid -
1.a brand of adhesive bandage with a gauze pad in the center, used to cover minor abrasions and cuts.

2.a makeshift, limited, or temporary aid or solution that does not satisfy the basic or long-range need.

1.surgical removal of foreign matter and dead tissue from a wound.

Those are actual definitions from the joke! I work at a hospital...I have setup wound vacs for people and to be quite honest, wounds are disgusting! I am social worker and not a nurse for a reason! My main area is women's services FOR A REASON! The babies are cute!!! I have seen a wound that needs a debridement and I have seen a patient in pain after a debridement...neither are a pretty sight! The easier choice is clear. It is so much easier to put a bandaid on a wound. To just temporarily cover it up...whether that be with substances, people, pushing it aside, food, whatever "feels" good to you at the moment. Getting to the very core of what the problem is the hard part. True healing has to start deep. That is a choice. It takes a true commitment. No excuses. If we rely on what feels good to us, then we will NEVER truly heal because true healing - the process - DOES NOT FEEL GOOD. But rest assured, the end result will feel good!!!

That's what they tell me anyway!

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Your Wish....

She's 18 months old!!!!

We go to the doctor in a couple of weeks so I will post stats then but she is still BIG!!!

I LOVE her so very much!!!!!


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Little Family Update

I know my blog hasn't been super exciting to read lately and you are just wishing that I would bring back the cutie pictures of my kids and the fun posts about vacationing and what I do on a daily basis but that's just not where I am right now.

I will, however, give you a little update. Rachel is doing well. We started a new daycare. The girls LOVE IT!!! Rachel is in a smaller class with kids more her age. She seems to be really thriving! I am so excited! We prayed about moving them for such a long time and the fact that this particular place had an opening was really something. God is good! Anyway, she will be 4 in November and acts every bit of 14!!! She is a mess but she certainly gets it honestly! :)

Lauren is almost 18 months!! She is talking up a storm now! Since she started at the new daycare, she has really started playing independently more and with her sister without Mommy - which is a HUGE blessing! She has always been such a "Mommy's Girl" which I love at times but at other times, it can be very taxing! She is becoming a little person instead of a baby and it kinda makes me sad! That was about the time with Rachel that we decided to have Lauren....don't worry, another baby is not in the works yet! ;)

Brice and I are good...closer than ever I think. He has been a tremendous rock for me in dealing with all of what I am dealing with the past few months. He loves me unconditionally and understands that I am just following God and doing what I know God wants me to do. I know this is hard for him but he is so patient with me. God could not have blessed me with a better partner in life. He is everything I need in a husband. He is willing to sacrifice for me in the future weeks and I am so thankful. I love him with my whole heart.

My family is my life. I love them with everything in my being but I have to let you know that when God call us to something, we must obey. God is going to do great things in my life and I am excited about the weeks and months to come but it will be a hard road. As I have said previously, I am on the journey towards healing and with that comes emotions and feelings that are bigger than me and harder than I can take on myself. I have to rely on God. He is bigger than all of my emotions and feelings and together with all of those that are walking alongside me and encouraging me and with God, we will accomplish much for His kingdom and I cannot wait!!!


Reason to Rejoice
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