Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Simple Pleasures

Things are starting to get back to normal. Rachel and I are back from Arkansas and although it was a good trip to see close friends and family members, I know that we are both so glad to be home. I missed my husband during this trip more than I ever have before and I am not quite sure why. I mean, that certainly sounds rude doesn't it? I always miss him but this time was different. I guess it could have been because I was grieving the loss of my uncle or because Rachel is getting more and more active and hard to deal with by myself. Not sure but I made a point to tell him that I missed him and that I love him. Then today I was thinking....I wonder how often my husband actually feels DEEPLY loved by me. I devote majority of my time to our daughter and when I don't, I am cleaning or on the computer or working. I told him last night that it is easier to know what a good thing you have when you are away from them...I guess it brings the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" even closer to home. My husband is amazing! He's smart, funny, loving, a great father, a godly man, a wonderful teacher, and the list goes on and on and on!!! I just brag about my little girl on here constantly and realized that I haven't ever talked about the love of my life! We have been married for 3 1/2 years and I think I love him more everyday!

All right, I realize that most of you reading this are probably about to gag so I will change the subject! =) Had to go to the doctor today for Rachel again!!! Dr. Hull (who we ABSOLUTELY LOVE!!!) is getting some good money from the insurance company! I am glad that we don't have a limit to the number of visits. Rachel has pink eye! YIPPEE!!! So, I had to leave work early and now have to put antibiotic drops in her eye twice a day. I just had to laugh.....if it isn't one thing, it's another! She has started doing this new face thing...it's HILARIOUS!!! She likes to squish up her face and make her eyes really little and then open her eyes really big. The funny part of it is that when she opens her eyes really big, she does this funny little thing with her mouth....here's a picture from the bathtub!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

How Am I Supposed to Feel?

Death is usually not a pleasant thing. I would hear some say that it is never a pleasant thing. I have to disagree with that. When someone is suffering and it is better for them physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to leave this earth I feel that is the best thing that can happen to them. Does that make the grief easier for those of us left behind? Sometimes but not usually. I would have to say that the death that I heard of this morning was probably of the worst kind.

My uncle shot himself in the heart this morning. He was young. He had two children - ages 16 and 6. My aunt left him a couple of months back because she was miserable. He was an alcoholic who battled depression for years....it was genetic. He also had a sister who took her own life. My aunt did what was best for her and for her children. Will she regret that? I don't know. Will she feel guilty because of the events of today, probably. Should she? Absolutely not. It was said to me this morning, "How incredibly selfish. Why would he do that to his little boy?" That's a good question but not something that anyone knows the answer to. My heart hurts. There are so many emotions running through me right now it is hard for me to express what I feel, really. I do know that I feel deeply for my aunt and for her children. I want her to always know that this is not her fault.

Your prayers for my family are appreciated.

Reason to Rejoice
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