Not Guilty

Redemption is sweet!  Isn't it?  I know you have heard that phrase, right?  Well, while earthly redemption is sweet, redemption from Christ is the sweetest kind a person can experience.

Most of you know my story.  You know that I struggled for many years with feeling unlovable due to past sin...a sin that I thought was tattooed on my forehead for all to see.  I was determined that no one loved me IF they only knew all about me and at the same time, I was convinced that everyone must have known about my secret because my self-esteem reflected the idea that no one loved me regardless of knowing.  Does that make sense?  Basically, I just didn't feel like I was loved.  The bottom line, I didn't love myself.  That was what spurred all of this senseless thinking on.  Even after I was married to the man who knew my secret and told me he loved me for me, regardless of my past, I just could not believe that.  And if I could not believe that he loved me, I didn't love me, then God certainly wouldn't love me.  You know some people live in this "pity party" world where they just want to feel sorry for themselves and I have been there but from the very core of my being, I truly believed that no one loved me.  Furthermore, if they didn't love me, they CERTAINLY weren't going to like me.  What does that translate to?  Insecurity.  Stronghold. {Unwarranted} Condemnation. Depression. Broken relationships.  For the most part, my life was a mess.  I lived in this fantasy world for several years trying to make do. 

That is not God's best.  That is not what He wants for His children.  He wants us to live a life of joy, hope, faith and trust that He is number one.  God began working on me and it wasn't until about 2  years later that I finally surrendered and began to trust that God wanted me healed and set free.  God DID love me and others did too.  This was about twelve years after my "big sin" had occurred and taken hold of me.  You can read more about that in this blog post. 

Our sermon today at church was about "Canceling A Guilt Trip."  Pastor Monty talked about the difference between condemnation and conviction.  The sermon was wonderful but one of the things that I was reminded of and once again was given confirmation of is that I am no longer condemned!  I did not feel guilt about my past sin.  The fact that I had an abortion at the age of 17 does not make me proud but I know that Christ has forgiven me.  I know that I am not condemned.  I know that I have been redeemed and I know that Christ has set me free.  He has given me a story to tell so that others can be spared the same heartache that I have gone through or so that I can help them to be set free as well.

If you are struggling with sin that you do not feel can be forgiven, please know that is the farthest from the truth!  God is waiting for you to come to Him and confess your sins, once and for all.  If you are already a child of His, He has already forgiven you. The idea that you cannot forgive yourself does not really matter.  In the end, if you do not accept Christ's forgiveness, you are making yourself higher than Him and that too is a sin (not one that cannot be forgiven, mind you).  :)  God sent His Son to shed His blood for all of the sins of the earth!  Not just the ones that you feel is worthy of His blood....ALL OF THEM!!!!!  Please do not live another minute in this bondage.  You cannot fully live a life for Christ with bondage.  It simply isn't possible.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." ~ Psalm 130:12


Lainey-Paney said…
I know your sin, and it doesn't change my feelings for you.
Lainey-Paney said…
....besides...nobody else who would judge is any better than you, their sins are maybe just different. No better, no worse, just different.

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