Trust or Faith?

The definition of trust is: belief that someone or something is good, honest, reliable, and effective. It is the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. It can also be defined as one in which confidence is placed. 

Faith is a strong belief or trust in someone or something. The dictionary defines faith as complete trust. The Bible defines faith as the "confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." (Hebrews 11:1) 

Are these two things the same? Is one dependent on the other? That question may be for someone a tad smarter than me but I will tell you what I do know.

I know that trust does not come easy for me. I know that hurt has been a real part of my life. I know that I don't like it. I know that I have walls. Tall ones. I know that I have a tendency to be cold towards people and not even realize it...especially if I have even an inkling that I will be hurt. I know that even today...this very day, that satan has told me that I am not worthy of anyone's love and when others tell me they love me it is out of pity and obligation. Maybe it is. Who knows for sure. 

I also know that I have been protected from some ugly stuff in my life with a protection that is quite unexplainable. I was delivered from sin and convicted from a place so deep within that there is only one possible explanation. I know that tiny life was formed from nothing and was weaved and formed inside my body more than once. The product of those miracles now walk around my house and cause me more anxiety than I will ever experience again. Only one being can create that. 

My trust and my faith are in a God that created me in His image. He chose me and He loves me. He spoke life into my soul and He redeemed me from the very mess I created for myself. By faith I chose to believe that He lived, He died, He was buried, He was resurrected, He still loves today, and one day, He is coming back for me! 

My days have been very very hard lately. I cannot explain to you why, because honestly, I am not really sure. My emotions are all over the place. I'm closer to God than I have ever been and the devil is utterly aware of that. He knows my insecurities. He knows I'm sensitive. He knows I get my feelings hurt easily and he uses what he can to attack me. A lot of days, he ends up getting a good hold of me. Does he win? No! Because of whose I am! 

Do I trust fully in God? I'm trying. I feel like it's a process. I read something recently that asked if we trust in God like our life depended on it. Like a newborn baby trusts his mom. For everything. I can't say that I'm there...but I'm trying.


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