Disorganized Perfectionist
How do I do it all? That's a really good question. You know, to be honest, I don't know the answer to that question. I find myself in a constant battle with myself with regards to balancing life.
I have a masters degree in social work. I worked full time until Rachel was born. I then worked PRN for a hospital until Lauren was eight months old. I then accepted a full time job. I struggled back and forth during that time with whether or not to return to work, if I was doing my children right by being home with them, or whether or not I was wasting my career. I know what some you must be thinking....my career is not near as important as my children. I know. That was part of my struggle. The problem was that as Rachel became older and more difficult to manage at home and as I realized that I was more and more relaxed with routine at home, she was suffering. I guess you could say I could have "stepped up my game" and been a better mom. Perhaps you might be right in that thinking but I just felt that God was pushing me in another direction. I felt that God knew that Rachel needed something more than what I was able to provide for her. Rachel is very strong willed. She needs and thrives on structure.
I have been working full time since December of 2009. I have recently moved to a new hospital but I have worked in a hospital environment since moving to Texas in 2006 and having children that same year. My job can be stressful and I work long hours. There are some days that I make it to the daycare to pick up my kids as the daycare is closing. Since starting this new job in December, I have started working 5 days a week and having to bring my computer home some nights to finish up documentation. At my previous job I had Thursdays off where I devoted time to cleaning the house and doing various other things like appointments. I enjoyed that but it is just not condusive to this job at this time. This job is less stressful but sometimes more demanding.
We do have a cleaning company that comes every other week. Honestly, other than the deep cleaning, I can barely tell that we have them. Sure, I don't have to scrub toilets and that kind of stuff but when you have 3 small children, every other week is barely enough to scratch the surface! Don't get me wrong, I am GRATEFUL for the extra help and when my husband said that we could keep the maids after we got married, I was thrilled but I have to do a ton of work in addition to that.
I like to refer to myself as a disorganized perfectionist. I know that sounds crazy but the thought of a perfectly organized house is just BLISS!!! I envision in my head exactly what I want my house to look like. That is just not reality right now. This year I have started a new year's resolution to get my house in shape and organized. I have called it "Organize Your Life." I started in our home office and did quite a bit of work in there. It got overwhelming and I have stopped for a little bit. I moved to the kitchen and cleaned out the medicine cabinet and the paper goods cabinet. I still have the pantry and the plastic container cabinet. I cleaned out the dining room cradenza, my bathroom, the girl's room, and the garage. I have a long way to go but it looks so much better! I can't wait for the rest of the year to see what else I can get organized! The goal is to have the office complete, the kitchen complete, and all of the bedrooms complete by the end of the year. I can do it!!!
My biggest problem is finding a balance on the weekend. Do I clean or spend time with my family? That sounds like a no-brainer but when else am I going to get my house in order? I work 5 days a week! Most of the time, I choose family and then come Sunday evening, I feel like I have accomplished nothing! Is that true? Not at all but I get so mad at myself for not doing it all. Not to mention the church activities, gymnastics, birthday parties, etc. It's a lot to balance. I really need to pray and find God's guidance in it all.
So, this was just a vomit of a post, wasn't it??!! Sorry for the disorganization of it but I just had to get it all in the open. Can anyone relate? I mean....am I the only one who feels this way?? Sometime please tell me I'm not. :)
I have a masters degree in social work. I worked full time until Rachel was born. I then worked PRN for a hospital until Lauren was eight months old. I then accepted a full time job. I struggled back and forth during that time with whether or not to return to work, if I was doing my children right by being home with them, or whether or not I was wasting my career. I know what some you must be thinking....my career is not near as important as my children. I know. That was part of my struggle. The problem was that as Rachel became older and more difficult to manage at home and as I realized that I was more and more relaxed with routine at home, she was suffering. I guess you could say I could have "stepped up my game" and been a better mom. Perhaps you might be right in that thinking but I just felt that God was pushing me in another direction. I felt that God knew that Rachel needed something more than what I was able to provide for her. Rachel is very strong willed. She needs and thrives on structure.
I have been working full time since December of 2009. I have recently moved to a new hospital but I have worked in a hospital environment since moving to Texas in 2006 and having children that same year. My job can be stressful and I work long hours. There are some days that I make it to the daycare to pick up my kids as the daycare is closing. Since starting this new job in December, I have started working 5 days a week and having to bring my computer home some nights to finish up documentation. At my previous job I had Thursdays off where I devoted time to cleaning the house and doing various other things like appointments. I enjoyed that but it is just not condusive to this job at this time. This job is less stressful but sometimes more demanding.
We do have a cleaning company that comes every other week. Honestly, other than the deep cleaning, I can barely tell that we have them. Sure, I don't have to scrub toilets and that kind of stuff but when you have 3 small children, every other week is barely enough to scratch the surface! Don't get me wrong, I am GRATEFUL for the extra help and when my husband said that we could keep the maids after we got married, I was thrilled but I have to do a ton of work in addition to that.
I like to refer to myself as a disorganized perfectionist. I know that sounds crazy but the thought of a perfectly organized house is just BLISS!!! I envision in my head exactly what I want my house to look like. That is just not reality right now. This year I have started a new year's resolution to get my house in shape and organized. I have called it "Organize Your Life." I started in our home office and did quite a bit of work in there. It got overwhelming and I have stopped for a little bit. I moved to the kitchen and cleaned out the medicine cabinet and the paper goods cabinet. I still have the pantry and the plastic container cabinet. I cleaned out the dining room cradenza, my bathroom, the girl's room, and the garage. I have a long way to go but it looks so much better! I can't wait for the rest of the year to see what else I can get organized! The goal is to have the office complete, the kitchen complete, and all of the bedrooms complete by the end of the year. I can do it!!!
My biggest problem is finding a balance on the weekend. Do I clean or spend time with my family? That sounds like a no-brainer but when else am I going to get my house in order? I work 5 days a week! Most of the time, I choose family and then come Sunday evening, I feel like I have accomplished nothing! Is that true? Not at all but I get so mad at myself for not doing it all. Not to mention the church activities, gymnastics, birthday parties, etc. It's a lot to balance. I really need to pray and find God's guidance in it all.
So, this was just a vomit of a post, wasn't it??!! Sorry for the disorganization of it but I just had to get it all in the open. Can anyone relate? I mean....am I the only one who feels this way?? Sometime please tell me I'm not. :)
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