Saturday, August 28, 2010

Journey

I did something today that was, by far, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do emotionally.

I am on a journey. It is a journey of healing. This blog post may seem confusing to you but mostly what it will be is incomplete. I cannot divulge a ton of information in this post but I will share all in good time. One thing I have learned on this journey - God's timing is absolutely perfect!!

Have you ever had to tell someone something that you knew would disappoint them or hurt them but you knew it was necessary in order for you to move forward and accomplish something or just to simply move on with a clear conscience? The time leading up to that point of talking to that person is excruciating!!!! The moment you are there talking to them, it is like time is standing still - you don't know whether to breathe...trying to figure what will happen next. Afterwards, depending on the outcome, you are either totally relieved or you are crushed or perhaps both. I know how this feels. I experienced this...today.

For more than 10 years now, I have been carrying around something that is difficult for me to talk about. God has really been working in my life recently to prepare me for what He has in store. He is going to do something big with this something and I am so excited about what He is going to accomplish for His kingdom through me but there was a little problem. I had/have some business to take care of first. I needed to talk to someone who I admire, I love with my whole heart, and I have thought of as a mom for 15+ years. My spiritual mentor, so to speak, when I was a teenager. Someone incredibly special to me. That's what I did today.

There were tears. Beforehand, tears stemming from fear. During, fear of the unknown and just overwhelming emotion. Afterwards, the tears were more turned into tears of freedom, joy, relief, love. More than anything, what I felt was the overwhelming presence of God's love, mercy, and grace displayed. It was incredible!!!

I can't give many more details right now but I will say this: redemption and restoration are incredible! I have felt it today from a close friend/mentor/parental figure. I have also felt the hand of God working in my life over the past several months preparing me for what was to happen today. I have been redeemed and restored concerning this "thing" by God many years ago. I am in the process healing.

God is good! That is the most important Reason to Rejoice!!!






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2 comments:

Kaydi said...

Very proud of you. I know God will use you in big ways! Love you.

Christi said...

This warmed my heart. God is always preparing us for the difficult things we have to do...you are princess of the King...he's there to take care of you and lead you and carry you when you can't go anymore. Love you!



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