Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Mommy

I know I am a couple days late but in the midst of my crazy-ness and all that is going on in our lives, I do feel the need to stop and talk about Mother's Day and reflect on being a mommy and the calling that it is in my life.

I feel completely unworthy yet so incredibly and overwhelmingly blessed to be a mommy and not just a mommy but their mommy. I cannot think of a higher calling in the world than to be a mommy. My girls are everything to me. I love them with something so deep within myself that I cannot even begin to describe it. It's just something so unreal.

I read about people that have longed for children their whole lives. I have always wanted to be a mommy but I will tell you that it never crossed my mind that I wouldn't be. I just always knew that God would have that in His plan for me. I don't think about that statement with arrogance...seriously, I realize that He could have chosen different for me but I guess I just knew that He wouldn't. BUT, I DO NOT take them for granted...not at all!!!!

Sunday at church was all about mothers and being a mom and what that means and the pastor dedicated a great deal of the service to moms. As he did that, I just wept. I do not deserve my children. I do not deserve them. I have so many friends and dear dear dear people in my life that have lost their babies and children and so so many that have never been able to conceive their own children. It just breaks my heart. I cannot tell you how deeply I feel for these people. I do not understand this. I will never understand. God is sovereign and that is all I can hold to this side of heaven.

Rachel and Lauren are my life. I often get so frustrated by them and they get on my nerves but I would not trade one single minute I have with them. When they are sick, I would do anything to make them better; when they are hurting, I wish it were me instead and I know that these feelings will only grow deeper and stronger the older they get. I look into their little innocent faces and I don't understand what they think but I always hope they know I love them. I don't know all the answers but I hope at the end of the day that they know their Mommy is there.

I love being a mommy. It's hard....the hardest but I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world!!!!!



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1 comments:

Katie Bug said...

I spent most of the Sunday service thinking about 4 of my church friends who want to be mommies so badly. All 4 of them have been pregnant before, but their babies did not make it to full term.
I have been praying for them regularly this year, but my heart was especially heavy for them this weekend.
Being a mommy is such a privelege, and I hope that God blesses them with that privelege soon!



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