The Great Debate

Stay home???? Go to work???? What is better for my family? for me? for my child? AHHHH!!!! You watch talk shows where women "duke it out" about which is healthier and which is more beneficial for everyone involved. It is such a tough subject. I never thought it would such a hard decision for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my daughter and I never want anyone to think otherwise but I also love my career. So, if I decide to put Rachel in child care and go to work, does that necessarily mean that I love my career more!!?? NO NO NO!! I know so many working moms who love working and then love coming home to their families...good good moms. I have many friends who don't have a choice. In order to make ends meet, they have to work and it never was a decision they had to make. Most of them will tell you that they would rather stay home with their kids. Is this just another one of those, "we want what we can't have scenarios?" I say all of this to say that I am probably going to go to work full time and put Rachel in child care and though a part of me is apprehensive, I really feel good about that decision. If you will allow me to be a little transparent here, I will have to honestly say that I am worried about what my friends will say about me! Why are you working when you don't have to? Do you not like being home with Rachel? Why would you want someone else teaching her things that you should be teaching her? All of these things have played through my head a million times!!!! AHHH!!! I have to do what is right for me and for my family right now and right now I do not have a full time commitment but if I choose to it does not mean that I don't love my child, it does not mean that I don't enjoy spending time with her. It simply means that God has given me a calling to be a social worker and I want to fulfill that while still answering the even higher calling that he has given me to be a mother...I can do both...and if for some reason I can't, I don't have to work forever! I will always do what is best for my child. That being said, please pray for me in this entire job situation. Will update later!!

Whew...okay, now that I go that off my chest! Rachel is doing great!! Getting so big! We went to the park yesterday for the first time and she had a blast on the swings. She didn't want to leave but a wet diaper and no where to change it made us go on home. We have both been sick. Rachel had an ear infection last week and I have had bronchitis. I think we are both well. Brice never got it...YAY!! We all know how sick men can be! ;)

Anyway, not much else going on. We are doing well and for that....we can rejoice!


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