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Showing posts from 2010

Reflections

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So, yes, I turned 30!!! I have ALWAYS loved my birthday! Not just my birthday, I love birthdays in general. I love giving gifts to my friends and I love celebrating birthdays! I just think that everyone should get excited about being born! :) Me at almost 2!
Yesterday I feel like I hit a milestone. Thirty! 30. It's a lot of years. BUT...what I thought so much about was what I have accomplished and what God has done in and through my life.
"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14
This passage of Scripture means so much to me...even more as I reflect on it this year. God has protected me my ENTIRE life. As a little girl He covered me and loved me even when I did not even really know who He was. As a teenager when I made some of the worst mistakes of my life, He still loved me even though I broke His heart. In my twenties, He blessed me beyond what I could EVER imagine with two…

Another Lesson

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God has done amazing things in my life recently but I still struggle in the area of security. I know that I recently posted about this but let me be a little more specific here for a minute.

I have a tendency to dwell on things a little too much. I think about things, well, TO DEATH!!!!! I will just think about every possible scenario until I literally make myself sick inside and then the end result is that I am basically scum on the bottom of my shoe. It always ends up like that....confused? Well, let me TRY to explain.

I have already mentioned in previous posts that I have always wanted to be sweet but I just have had a hard time mastering that skill (or gift, whatever). I just have (or don't have) a way with words. Email is a horrible medium of communication but it is what is often used in my world because I am just on the go so much but let's just be honest, I am just as bad with words in person. I say things sometimes that I don't mean and things come across the wron…

Been Awhile!

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I know it has been a little while since I have posted and this one won't be a "spiritual" one but one about what has been going on with us! I don't have pictures on this computer but I will try to upload tonight now that I have Christmas all done at my house and can do things like that! :)

Rachel's birthday has come and gone and she is such a big SASSY girl!!! She tells me all of the time that she is four and she is not a baby anymore. Kind of makes me sad but I am glad that she is independent...sometimes she is just a little TOO independent! :/ Her birthday party was a BLAST! It was at the Little Gym and they have the best birthday parties. You literally bring a cake, kids, and show up!!! They provide all the rest!!! The kids loved it, Rachel loved it and I was glad because I had a busy weekend!!! That Friday evening, I headed out to Fort Worth - Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary - to be exact for a laadies' retreat!!! I know what you are thinking...…

Security - Where is Yours?

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Where does your security lie? Hmm...good question, eh? My girls both had to have things to sleep with as small children...Lauren still does. Rachel used to take her "lovie" and twist it around her index finger and that is how she would put herself to sleep. I guess it made her feel safe. We all want to feel safe...whatever that means to us personally.

I have come up with four basic categories that most people find their security in:

1. things
2. others
3. self
4. God

THINGS
Some people put their trust in their material things. The more "stuff" they have the better they feel...but do they really? I used to think that. When I was young, I didn't have much. It was a treat for us to go out to eat. I remember just wanting to get a pair of Keds tennis shoes. That was always what I wanted for my birthday and I was SO excited when I got them. I felt like a million dollars all because I had a $20 pair of shoes! When I got married to a successful young man and could buy …

Authentic

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I think we all as Christians have those "mountain top experiences" when we feel like nothing can stop us from living out our dreams or pressing on with what God would have for us. My fear is that sometimes this can be brought on by meer emotions. My husband and I have had this conversation before...about how emotional revivals and youth camps are. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE revivals and I think that youth camps are awesome but I just think that sometimes the emotional "highs" that come from them are so easily deflated. When we are so protected between the boundaries of the camp or so driven by the daily messages of the evangelists it is easy to get pumped about what God is doing but what happens when we get back to reality? Many times we go back to the life we were living prior to those events. Perhaps they weren't bad lives but mediocre at best.
One of the things I have been focusing on lately is doing the will of God. I want to know and do the true will …

Rachel Mackenzie - You Are 4!

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Hey Sweet Girl, Just minutes after birth
When I had you in my belly, I knew life with you would be so fun because you NEVER stopped moving! I will never forget the first time I felt you move - it was magical! I always worried that something was wrong with you because I could not understand why God would bless me with such a wonderful gift.

Meeting Mommy for the first time
I didn't think it was possible to love you any more than I did when you were born but my love for you grows everyday. You are beautiful inside and out and it has been such a delight to see you grow into yourself and for your little personality to develop. You are so tenderhearted. You cry easily and get your feelings hurt in a second - one of those gifts that your mommy gave you! You are SUPER smart like your daddy.
Proud Daddy
From the time you were just a little girl in my arms, I would rock and sing to you. Our song became "I Love You, A Bushel and A Peck." I LOVE that you now sing that WITH me and k…

This Day Four Years Ago

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I told you I would probably have another "Rachel story..."

Four years ago today I walked into the doctor's office for my 36 week appointment only to be told that I would most likely be having a baby THAT day - to head to labor and delivery! I had been on home bed rest for about 3 weeks and that day, I was told that I had "failed home bed rest." Isn't that nice? Anyway, my mother in law was with me because Brice was in Pittsburg, PA. After I got settled into my room and got the blood pressure cuff on, the doctor came in and said, "Best case scenario your blood pressure will be monitored for a few hours and then you will go home. That's not likely. You will likely AT LEAST stay overnight." She went to get her hair done and then came back and said I would be in the hospital until I had the baby - which I was thinking was going to be 4 weeks away! I started freaking out just a little. I called Brice who was calmly panicking thinking he ne…

November

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November is a tough month for me. There are a lot of things in this month that cause me to remember...loved ones that have died, things that have happened that I would like to forget but have changed my life forever, and my sweet Rachel was born. My first born baby girl!!! I CANNOT believe that she is going to be 4 years old this year.

This picture was taken when I was at home on bed rest at about 35 weeks pregnant...the last picture of us before she was born and probably one of my most treasured pictures even though I was as BIG AS A COW! I went into the hospital shortly after this.
There will be more "Rachel posts" I am sure...just warnin' ya! ;) Yes, I am that kind of sappy momma!

Sweet?

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One of my best friends had this as her Facebook status recently: ..."loves how when God has a message for you it becomes a recurring theme in your life!"

How true is that!? I could not shout "AMEN" loud enough...internally, of course...so that people in my house would not think I was nuts! ;)

Someone else was talking about on her blog recently about when God becomes the center of your life that you cannot help but notice Him in things. I LOVE that and it just resounded with me!

You see, this is such a new concept for me! I have shared with several people recently that I am at a place in my spiritual walk right now that I have honestly never been before. It is amazing! To say I have arrived is FAR from the truth and if I ever say that I am in SERIOUS trouble but I am MILES from where I was, say, 6 months ago and I would like to share with you why I think that is...

I have said things about myself before that went like this:

"I wish I were more sweet spirited.&q…

Called

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When I was a little girl I always wanted to be a pediatric oncology nurse –I know pretty specific, huh? Ironically, one of my very best friends is that very thing today! Well, I AM NOT! :) I have always known that I wanted to work in the medical field, however. It both intrigues me and grosses me out all at the same time! When I was in college, I was going pre-nursing right up until I starting failing not doing so well in my science classes – you know all of those classes that are essential for nursing school! (It didn’t help that I contracted mononucleosis my second semester in college and had to be out of classes for 6 weeks either, but that’s beside the point)! Anyway, I digress…I started looking into different professions and the Bachelor’s degree in Christian counseling degree at Central Baptist College (where I was a student at the time) was brand new. I had looked into it and did some research and prayed about it and after some self-discovery and God working on my heart …

IBC Ladies Retreat 2010

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Our ladies retreat was this last weekend and it was awesome! I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to stop and just give up planning this retreat but I knew that Satan was working...working to try to discourage me. This was a big project. Along with dealing with very personal things, I was having to come up with a theme, speakers, decorations, food, venue, gifts, etc...it was a lot. At times, it seemed like too much. Don't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun to plan but it was a lot.

BUT...

It was such a blessing!!!!!

We had 3 ladies from Fielder Road Baptist Church in Arlington come and lead worship, do some comedy, and speak about being transformed. Our Scripture reference for the weekend came from Romans 12:1-2.

I sit here and type with tears in my eyes as I think about all of the ways that God touched me personally this weekend and about all of the things I heard other ladies say. Here is what I know that God said to me this weekend:

1. If I will call to Him, He w…

October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

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In 1988 Ronald Reagan proclaimed October Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  In 2006, October 15th became an official day of recognition by Congress - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  It is a special day to honor and acknowledge pregnancies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, prematurity complications, neonatal death, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), illness, accidents, and other tragic causes. Pink and light blue are the awareness colors.


It is my privilege to serve as the co-chair of the Bereavement Committee at the hospital where I work.  This committee has a goal of raising pregnancy and infant loss awareness and supporting those affected by such a loss.  Our committee consists of nurses, social workers, and our hospital chaplain.  For the past several months, we have been planning our first ever ceremony to honor and remember the babies that have have been lost, not only in our hospital, but in our community due to the above mentioned circums…

Choices

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I have been thinking a lot about choices. We all makes choices. Sometimes the choices we make affect who we are, sometimes they affect just us, sometimes they affect others and sometimes we may not know until it's too late the consequences of our choices. Then again, sometimes we make choices KNOWING the consequences BEFORE we make them yet make them anyway. Why do we do that?

Paul says in Romans 7:17 as he struggled with sin: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." He talks about evil desires and our sin nature taking over but we have a choice...to make a decision to overcome those desires. Sometimes, we fail. Often, we fail. What happens? Consequences and pain associated with those consequences.

As parents, Brice and I are careful to teach our girls that they are not bad, but sometimes the choices they make are bad.  We teach them about making wise choices and help them to understand that there are consequences for the…

Your Wish....

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She's 18 months old!!!!


We go to the doctor in a couple of weeks so I will post stats then but she is still BIG!!!



I LOVE her so very much!!!!!


A Little Family Update

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I know my blog hasn't been super exciting to read lately and you are just wishing that I would bring back the cutie pictures of my kids and the fun posts about vacationing and what I do on a daily basis but that's just not where I am right now.

I will, however, give you a little update. Rachel is doing well. We started a new daycare. The girls LOVE IT!!! Rachel is in a smaller class with kids more her age. She seems to be really thriving! I am so excited! We prayed about moving them for such a long time and the fact that this particular place had an opening was really something. God is good! Anyway, she will be 4 in November and acts every bit of 14!!! She is a mess but she certainly gets it honestly! :)

Lauren is almost 18 months!! She is talking up a storm now! Since she started at the new daycare, she has really started playing independently more and with her sister without Mommy - which is a HUGE blessing! She has always been such a "Mommy's Girl&qu…

Journey

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I did something today that was, by far, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do emotionally.

I am on a journey. It is a journey of healing. This blog post may seem confusing to you but mostly what it will be is incomplete. I cannot divulge a ton of information in this post but I will share all in good time. One thing I have learned on this journey - God's timing is absolutely perfect!!

Have you ever had to tell someone something that you knew would disappoint them or hurt them but you knew it was necessary in order for you to move forward and accomplish something or just to simply move on with a clear conscience? The time leading up to that point of talking to that person is excruciating!!!! The moment you are there talking to them, it is like time is standing still - you don't know whether to breathe...trying to figure what will happen next. Afterwards, depending on the outcome, you are either totally relieved or you are crushed or perhaps both. I know how thi…

Promise

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I want to share more but right now, all I can say is that I am struggling. I am struggling with freedom. I kind of feel like I have a ton of bricks on my shoulders. It is a daily battle. I have God's promise that His mercy and grace are sufficient and thankfully each day He gives me enough strength and peace to get through that day.

God is preparing my heart for some great stuff ya'll! I am excited about what is to come!!! It's going to huge!!!

You all know how important music is to my life. This song in the following video is my theme song right now. I have to hold on the promise that this song talks about. Enjoy!




We're Still Here!

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Hello everyone!!! We are still here, as my title points out. Things have been so busy! We have taken a vacation since I was here last and OH...big news....

I FINISHED MY NOVEL!!!!

It was awesome! I am waiting to watch the movie to tell you what I think about the endings of each of them. From what I hear, the ending is very different from the book to the movie. I loved the book. It was VERY long and I finished it in a week. It was a very surprising ending and it was sad and most people told me that they hated the way it ended but I liked it....a twist. Sad but I liked the way it ended.

Vacation....it seemed short. Brice and I had a great time getting away to Hot Springs for the weekend. We got to see a ton of friends while we were in Arkansas and it's always a pleasure to see family.

I cannot believe the summer is almost over and I am SO GLAD!!! It is so flippin hot outside!! I love fall! I love winter! I love spring! I like summer.

Brice and I went out for our ann…

Realizations

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So, I have come to some realizations about myself in the past few months. I have found that there some things about myself that...well, just are. I don't know how else to put it. I have some "quirkiness" about myself. One is the fact that I really want to like things and do things but I can't. Are you confused? Let me explain....

When I hear of a good book that comes out in the Christian Living or better yet, self help world, I immediately want to rush out and buy it and most of the time, I do...or I get it for Christmas or birthday if it is the right time of the year. Here are a few examples:



These are all GREAT books by GREAT authors! I have all three of these books lying on my night stand just WAITING to be read. I have read about 5 or 6 chapters (give or take a few) in each of them. This is the deal...

I have a problem where I can't just read the book and put back on the shelf and say, "Hmm..that was a good book" and move on. I want to dissect each …

Break

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I don't guess I need to tell you that I have been on a "blogging break" huh? You kinda figured that one out all by yourself, I bet!!! :)

Uninspired? Busy? Tired? That's probably the reason!!!!

I had an absolutely FABULOUS day today!! I took a personal day. For ME! That's right and it was amazing! I slept late...a little. I got up, took a shower, took the girls to daycare, shopped at Babies R Us and met some friends at Glorias for lunch. GREAT food and fellowship with a godly group of some of my favorite ladies!!!! I LOVE them...all of them!!!! I can truly say that all 5 of them are women that I love, truly, deep down. I have such a unique relationship with each of them and I am so very blessed to know them all. Then after that, me and two of my friends went for pedicures....ahhhhhh....my toes are great! :) Then I went to Kohl's and got me some jean shorts. I had NONE that fit. I got a dress and two shirts too and some short sets for Lauren …

Lauren

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So...I never posted about Lauren's 15 month checkup.

She is 28 lbs, 14 oz - 97th %tile
32 inches long - 95th %tile

She is in size 4 diapers still. She eats just about anything but spits it out IMMEDIATELY if she doesn't like it! She is very opinionated and very high maintenance...she always has been. She loves her big sister and looks for her if she isn't around. She says lots of words...some of which we can't exactly make out! She loves playing with baby dolls and reading books...or rather having books read to her. She will bring you a book, turn around, sit in your lap - requesting you to read and then clap when it's over. It's the cutest thing! She definitely has an attitude and she is loud just like her sister! She has more ear infections than I can count at this point. Which is why this morning....

We got tubes placed in her ears and her adenoids removed. We had to be there at 6:00 and then the surgery was at 7:15. She did really well. She was…

Random Things About Me

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I was thinking today about how quirky I can be. I know we all have our things that we do that make us who we "are" and I thought it would be fun to let you in on some of the ways that I am....ME!

1. I am very outgoing but I do not trust easily.
2. I do not like for my food on my plate to touch.
3. I have always wanted to work in the medical field. First, I wanted to be a pediatric nurse practitioner - thought I wanted to do oncology. As I have gotten older, I am absolutely fascinated with babies...especially labor and delivery. If I didn't hate school so much and know that it would take so long and cost so much, I might think about going back to school to be an OB/GYN...that's how interested in it I am - it truly fascinates me!
4. I do not like marshmallows, coconut, or whipped cream...I do like other white foods though! :)
5. I get attached to people really easily. Once you have my trust and my heart, you have it. It breaks my heart when people leave or move aw…

Update on Rachel

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Well, the grandparents are here and are helping out tremendously. What a blessing!

My friend Kaydi and I took Rachel yesterday to Cook Children's Hospital in Ft. Worth for her VUCG and ultrasound. She did GREAT with the ultrasound - she laid there and ate a sucker while watching Sleeping Beauty. The VUCG...not so much! She did okay until about the 4th wiping of betadine solution on her "bottom" and then she wasn't okay anymore. It went from bad to worse. By the end of it she was screaming, "LET ME GO!" It was traumatic for all involved. The techs that were there were less than helpful in calming her down - in fact, they actually made it worse. I was appalled at how poorly they handled my frighened 3 1/2 year old. Anyway, we got through and she earned a milk shake and a Jessie doll from Toy Story! The pediatrician called at 5:00 and told us that VUCG was normal but that she does have some fluid around her left kidney and we need to follow up with a …

Hot Diggity Dog!!!

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I wanted to title this post Ballerina Beauty but it just wouldn't fit in this particular instance....but to me, she is a beauty!!! :)

We had Rachel's dance recital on Saturday night and she was perfect...well, probably not but she was still perfect!!!! Her class - a group of ten 3 and 4 year olds danced a tap routine to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse's "Hot Dog." It was cute! I was a stage mom and keeping that many girls entertained for that long was...well, it was difficult and I am just glad that I didn't have that many children that age at once!!! I am not sure I would not be in jail right now!

Many of Rachel's little friends came to see her and she felt so proud! Her grandparents from Arkansas were here to see her to and brought her a beautiful silver puffed heart necklace before the performance. She got a lot of "star treatment."

This mommy was proud!

Daddy brought Rachel brought flowers and she loved them!

The whole group of girls